It’s late and I’m off to bed but before I stagger upstairs, here are my top ten idle thoughts about the 83rd Oscar ceremonies:
- Anne Hathaway only needed James Franco so she had time to change her outfits. She was adorable and handled the pressure beautifully. He wasn’t and he didn’t. (Her sparkly eyelashes were neat, too.)
- The “God of Love” guy’s speech was the best of the bunch: “I should have gotten a haircut.” “…to my Mom who did craft services…” “All the nominated shorts are available on iTunes.” First runner-up to the professed “late bloomer” who won for Best Original Screenplay for “The King’s Speech.”
- I can’t be the only one who thought there were some pretty difficult segues from the nostalgic bits. I’m all for honoring the past, but MUST we watch a clip of Charlie Chaplin every year?
- Best dressed: Tie between Jennifer Hudson and Amy Adams. Oh, and Reese, I’d love to borrow that. Call me.
- Worst dressed: Mandy Moore. She looked like she wrapped a comforter around a corset after washing them together with a blue sharpie.
- Billy Crystal ought to try a new haircut. How long ago did he make “When Harry Met Sally?
- Oprah Winfrey has huge bazoonkas.
- What do you think Gwyneth Paltrow’s first thought was when she heard her song was nominated for an Oscar? My best guess is that it was: “Oh, fuck.”
- Celine Dion doesn’t seem to age. Or maybe she looked like that when she was young and now she’s caught up with her looks.
- Colin Firth deserved to win Best Actor; what an amazing performance. The King’s Speech was an incredible movie – touching, thoughtful and inspiring. Go see it.
Finally, let me leave you with this: I know he assisted with an infamous wardrobe malfunction but barring that, I wonder how Justin Timberlake would do hosting an awards show. I mean, he can sing, dance and he’s always hilarious as the surprise guest on Saturday Night Live. Think of it this way – no one could be worse than Letterman.
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February 28, 2011 at 12:02 am
kristen
God save the king….the queen….and of course, Wills and Kate
oh England—how I love thee
BTW–#5 washed w/a sharpie—-hahaha
February 28, 2011 at 8:14 am
Mary the OINKteller
Ditto, Kristen. Let’s go back!
February 28, 2011 at 5:03 am
confusedyuppie
hahaha! just one q. what do u mean by bazoonkas?
February 28, 2011 at 8:18 am
Mary the OINKteller
Well, it could be code for many of Oprah’s unique attributes but I really meant it as a comment on her phenomenal bosom. Her girls filled half my television screen in her medium close-up! I’m just jealous…
February 28, 2011 at 6:54 am
She's a Maineiac
Ha! Totally agree with all your observations. Loved number 5 and the Oprah comment!
February 28, 2011 at 8:21 am
Mary the OINKteller
The best part of being home in my pjs to watch the Oscars was getting to sit on the couch with my hubby. And my laptop. 🙂
February 28, 2011 at 10:23 am
melissasmeanderings
Ha—too funny! How did you know the tricks to assembling Mandy Moore’s outfit? And yes…poor Gwenyth!
February 28, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Mary the OINKteller
I felt terribly for Gwynnie. It’s one thing to sing in a movie; quite another to sing live in front of your peers. She gets props for doing it though!
February 28, 2011 at 10:23 am
Kristen m.
Oh Mary! What a hoot! I was saying to myself last night, as Oprah approached the microphone ” ok, her chest arrived center-stage about 10 minutes before the rest of her!”. Loved your post this morning!
February 28, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Mary the OINKteller
LOL Kristen, you are so right! Thanks for stopping by.
February 28, 2011 at 11:37 am
Tori Nelson
Haha! Loved #8. You know your performance is creepy when your Grammy duet with a feather-clad soul singer made more sense. Ickkkk.
February 28, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Mary the OINKteller
I could not understand a word “Florence” or “The Machine” sang. A sure sign that I am getting old. Them young people these days…
February 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Alexis
James Franco couldn’t have phoned it in more directly had he stood on stage with a phone in his hand. I think Jennifer Hudson looks amazing and kudos on the great dress. Although I could have used a little less boobage peekage. Hated Cate Blanchette’s dress but maybe I just don’t get the couture. Looked like a bubble bath threw up on her…
March 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Mary the OINKteller
It did look like a bubble bath threw up on her! I didn’t get it either.
February 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Andrea
I only watched the first half hour or so, and I know James Franco wasn’t very animated, but all I could think about was that white get-up at the beginning, oh my!
March 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Mary the OINKteller
I must have missed the white get-up. I was probably up getting popcorn…
March 12, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Chris
What a great review of the big O’s–oops that could be a Freudian slip I meant Oscars but could have been thinking of Oprah’s big “girls” would love to know where were she gets her under garments. I too loved Anne ( all of her outfits were FAB) and could have done with JF–especially the “drag” outfit–how embarrassing. You made me lol at work tonight–thanks 🙂